She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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