I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
