i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
