Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
