what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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