id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
