I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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