We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
