so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
