My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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