You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Jerry, you need to find god
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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