i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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