I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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