Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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