i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
