I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
