There is no way he is gay with that hair.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
