Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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