dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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