NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
