I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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