oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
