i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
