i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
