can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
barbara walters just said penis...
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
