As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
