I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival