I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.