I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman