Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i did. i'm using it as a microphone.

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  (703): maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking. (859): i did. i'm using it as a microphone. http://tfl.nu/mm1q
  Replies (8) Good night (3091) Bad night (676)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

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  (813): Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person http://tfl.nu/pnlg
  Replies (55) Good night (3494) Bad night (631)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

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  (847): i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1. http://tfl.nu/5eb0
  Replies (46) Good night (1906) Bad night (5786)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?

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  (440): Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me? http://tfl.nu/fofz
  Replies (7) Good night (806) Bad night (4289)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.

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  (912): Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy. http://tfl.nu/2f82
  Replies (42) Good night (799) Bad night (5545)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.

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  (281): my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious. http://tfl.nu/99ri
  Replies (48) Good night (6179) Bad night (1147)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!

  (1-314): View more from Missouri

  What?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a yeast infection.

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  (314): I'm bakin' bread in my pussy! (1-314): What? (314): I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/o2ns
  Replies (180) Good night (2254) Bad night (28770)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."

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  (508): right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy." http://tfl.nu/262w
  Replies (21) Good night (6688) Bad night (1590)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".

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  (801): He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied". http://tfl.nu/4up3
  Replies (12) Good night (2088) Bad night (3904)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes

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  (519): he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes http://tfl.nu/rvmv
  Replies (13) Good night (1094) Bad night (4045)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not

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  (609): I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not http://tfl.nu/tjy5
  Replies (9) Good night (952) Bad night (3051)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now

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  (386): Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now http://tfl.nu/ahzl
  Replies (1) Good night (1413) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.

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  (314): Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly. http://tfl.nu/f0vi
  Replies (10) Good night (2496) Bad night (943)
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  (585): View more from New York

  remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that

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  (585): remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that http://tfl.nu/fcdo
  Replies (8) Good night (531) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night

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  (603): Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night http://tfl.nu/dak1
  Replies (9) Good night (1788) Bad night (542)

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