I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Can I color on your dick again?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
