scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
