sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
