Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have feelings that need drinking.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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