Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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