Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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