after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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