So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It was confusing and full of hummus
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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