i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
