Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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