"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
