This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
