people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
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You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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