I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Houston, we have a blender
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
