If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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