i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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