my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
