I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
