therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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