i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
