remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
