Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
