i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
