We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My life is pants optional.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
