Sry I called you an 8
never play flip cup with pint glasses
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
