It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
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i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
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I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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