I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
