It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
