I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
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Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
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Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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