I should be sponsored by Trojan
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Even my vagina gasped.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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