he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
