google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
