just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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