mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She bit a glass in half.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
