and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
