You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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