That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
