i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Someone came in the potted fern
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
